Jan 08 2009
Which Angel Is With Me?
I know that there are two kinds of Angels, and I often wonder which one is with me. Today I read one of my past articles, and my whole thought process has changed since then. I was more of a positive spirit even though I was enduring a lot of pain and suffering. My spirit is now corrupt, and no matter how hard I try to control the negativity it always overpower me.
In my passed article, I wrote a short poem. When I read this poem again I thought to myself ‘ who wrote that?’….I know that I wrote it, but it’s hard to believe that I went from that thought process to a one that is so much worse. I have changed, and I didn’t even realize it.
I would like to share this poem with you….It is as follows:
I may have been down for a long time, but I’m still here;
Every time I stumble and fall, I get back up saying;
I may have failed at making the right decisions, but I was given another chance to make it right;
I have set goals, and I plan to carry them out despite my fears;
Through all the trials and tribulations in my life I will make it;
Something in my mind is always telling me it’s going to be alright;
Have faith and I will see a new light;
The more I read this poem…The more I say to myself..’How did I let this take over me…How do I come out of it?”. I also question the angels…What angel is with me? I know that there is so much hell in my life right now, but there are some good things going for me as well.
I find that it is getting easier for me if I count my blessings. I have beautiful children, and they are all in good health. I have a place called home to take care of them and myself as well. It is a blessing that I am able to get back and forth to work everyday without my own transportation. It is a blessing that I have someone watching my children so that I may work to take care of them.
It is a blessing that I have a job to pay bills every month. I have manage to surround myself with positive people, and the negative ones are slowly diminishing… I have a wonderful friend whom I hope will soon be my boyfriend. I think God sent him to me for a reason too.
For some reason, I feel very drawn to him. I have very deep feelings for him….I am falling very hard for him….It scares me sometimes because I don’t want to be hurt anymore. I’ve had my share of heartache and pain, and the next man I get will be it for me. I plan to be with him for the rest of my life. The next man will have my heart, mind, body and soul through marriage. I will give this to him only if he marries me.
I have stomped on my heart to do the right thing plenty of times, and I’d rather break my heart than let another man do it for me. I am indeed falling in love with this man in particular…I am undecided as to what to do….
Anyway, there are more things that I can point out, but I’ve said enough. They say sometimes when people are getting a blessing they are getting a curse, and this is because they are being touched by the wrong angel..Jesus endured a lot of pain, and when you try to do the right thing like Jesus did you too will share that pain.
I go through a lot of pain now, but that doesn’t mean that I am accompanied by a good angel. A good angel may indeed be with me, and I believe that it may be so…But there is always that question there because you can never be too sure.
I am learning now to speak life into whatever it is that I do, and this learning process is soooo hard for me to do. Old habits do die hard, and getting rid of them is not so easy like some people think. I’m taking it one day at a time, and pray everyday that God gives me a chance to right my wrongs.
